The Petals Pregnancy After Loss (PAL) Programme

At Petals, we understand how emotionally complex it can be for bereaved parents to face a new pregnancy after experiencing loss. Balancing hope for the future with grief from the past often brings heightened anxiety and fear. 

Supporting these parents through such a delicate time has been a core focus for us. While one-to-one counselling remains at the heart of our work, limited funding means we can’t always offer this support to everyone who needs it. 

To address this, we launched the Petals PAL (Pregnancy After Loss) Programme in November 2022. This counsellor-led programme is specifically tailored for clients navigating pregnancy following a previous loss, who may not be eligible for one-to-one counselling. 

What is the PAL Programme? 

The PAL Programme consists of six 90-minute monthly online sessions, each led by two fully trained Petals counsellors and attended by up to 12 clients. Each session focuses on a specific topic, designed to support emotional wellbeing throughout pregnancy after loss: 

• Managing anxiety 
• Bonding with your baby 
• Coping with scans and appointments 
• Anniversaries and triggering events 
• Managing relationships with partners and others 
• Delivering and preparing for your baby

We caught up with Jacqui Rushmer, Petals Counselling Manager, who has been key to the development of this important programme, to find out more about what it offers, why it’s important, and what she thinks about the programme as an alternative to one-to-one counselling… 

How is this different to Petals one-to-one counselling? 

“The focus is different,” says Jacqui. “The PAL programme centres on sharing experiences, developing coping strategies and gaining emotional support from others in a similar situation. Through sharing personal struggles, making new connections, uplifting each other and increasing their sense of awareness, group members gain a sense of community in a place that feels safe.” 

The programme doesn’t follow the same structure as traditional counselling. While each session has a framework, the conversation flows naturally based on what participants bring to the group and this can be very powerful and healing; fostering a sense of togetherness within a difficult situation.   

“This flexibility allows a sense of togetherness to form in a safe space,” says Jacqui.

“While the format may differ, the outcome is often the same: our clients leave feeling heard, supported, hopeful, better able to handle the difficult moments, and a part of the Petals community.” 

Why are these groups helpful for individuals and couples? 

• Because people need a safe, secure place to talk about their experience of being pregnant again, and to find support from others who truly understand – those who “just get it.” 

• Because pregnancy after loss is different. It’s not like the pregnancies their friends and family have experienced, nor is it like their own past pregnancies. It can feel isolating, and many don’t know how to manage the intense anxiety and fear. 

• Because people need hope—and help connecting to their new baby. At times, it can feel difficult to trust in the outcome of this new pregnancy. Hearing how others are coping can be empowering. 

• Because they need their previous loss to be acknowledged, even when unspoken. These groups offer a space free of judgement, where questions can be asked, resources can be shared, and mutual support is exchanged. 

• Because many others simply don’t understand the emotional complexity. Friends and family may not have faced this type of experience. Knowing others in the group truly understand brings comfort and connection and this can be so powerful.  

What is the role of the counsellors in these group sessions? 

Jacqui compares the programme to antenatal groups like the NCT: “It brings people together during pregnancy to share experiences and information—but with a focus on emotional support and loss. It’s a place where difficult things can be spoken about and held compassionately.”  

Petals counsellors play a vital role in holding the group and the emotional content.  Jacqui explains, “We monitor the time, pace the sessions and keep the conversations moving.  We offer professional insights based on our experience and check in with individuals who may need additional support. 

“As experienced counsellors, we are able to facilitate respectful discussion while managing a wide variety of stories and emotions, providing a space that is safe and confidential. In turn, people feel able to talk about their fears, the things that trigger them, the impact their anxiety is having on their relationships and anything else related to their pregnancy. 

“We manage the different stories that people bring. We have such mixed groups within the programme. No one attending is the same – their pregnancy can be early or late – from six weeks right up to full term and we encounter all of the different losses people can have such as miscarriage, TFMR, stillbirths and neo-natal deaths.” 

This mix of people can be complex, but the diversity adds a richness and depth to the sessions and our counsellors ensure that everyone is supported as Jacqui explains, “We bring structure, compassion and purpose to this mix of stories. It works—and we are going from strength to strength.” 

If you’re pregnant after a loss and feel you might benefit from Petals support, there are a few ways you can get in touch with us. Head over to our Request Counselling page to see if your maternity care is with one of our partner hospitals. If not, you can also refer yourself, and we may be able to support you through our charitable counselling pathway.

We’d love to help everyone who reaches out, but demand for our service is higher than ever and, sadly, we can’t always offer support to everyone who needs it. Please know that we’re working really hard to raise the funds we need to expand our service and reach more parents. In the meantime, if you’re looking for connection and support, you’re very welcome to join our closed Facebook group for parents currently navigating pregnancy after loss.