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Termination for Medical Reasons (TFMR)
The ending of (what is most often) a wanted pregnancy due to results from antenatal testing, foetal anomalies or maternal health.
Although there is not currently any robust data on the number of TFMRs every year, from the available statistics, it is estimated that at least 5,000 happen in the UK every year.
Common Thoughts & Feelings
Parents can feel so many conflicting emotions when faced with the decision to TFMR. Our clients often express feeling:
- Shock, confusion, disbelief, panic
- Regret, fear, despair
- Anger, rage
- Guilt, shame
Someone experiencing TFMR may have the following thoughts or ask the following questions:
- Why me/ Why us?
- What did I/we do wrong?
- This cannot be true, there must be a mistake.
- What if the doctors have got it wrong?
- I am a bad person.
- I am being punished.
- How do I live with the decision I have made?
How Petals can help:
Having a safe space to work through this turmoil of emotions with an experienced, professional counsellor quite simply enables couples to move forward from such a devastating experience, in a healthy way.
The counselling relationship is the place where the residue of toxic guilt feelings can be processed, and the internal conflict around choices made can be worked through.
This helps to unlock the more natural grieving process, meaning that couples can then connect with their feelings of sadness, understand their loss and what it means to themselves and each other.
Through this process, the future emerges, and hope and trust in their future becomes possible.
Read Lucie’s Story
Read Zara & Lex’s Story
Read Sam’s Story
Join our closed Facebook group, Petals Together: a supportive group of others with shared experiences, who know how you are feeling.
You can also find out more about our specialist counselling here.