Author Ali Harris shares how Petals helped her after the loss of her daughter, and why she’s now joining the charity as an ambassador to help other bereaved parents find hope.
Earlier this month, I had the privilege of speaking at the Petals biannual conference, where more than thirty of their counsellors gathered to share learning, connection and hope. Standing in front of the people who do this vital work every day was deeply emotional – and a full-circle moment I will never forget.
It was also incredibly special because I was reunited with Sue – the counsellor who had supported me eleven years ago this month, when my daughter, Poppy, died at 23 weeks and 5 days. Poppy had been diagnosed with Edwards syndrome, and my husband and I had been given the impossible choice of continuing the pregnancy, knowing that she would not survive, or to have what I prefer to call a compassionate induction – a phrase that, for me, better reflects the love and heartbreak that decision carries.
The support I received from Petals was the beginning of my healing. In those counselling sessions, I found a way to speak, and then to write, about my grief – to honour Poppy’s life with words rather than the silence that had inhabited me before.
At the conference, I read from my novel This Wasn’t Meant to Happen – a book I wrote to fill a gap I saw in fiction and create a universal story that might reach those living through baby loss or loving someone who was. I wanted it to safely hold the reality of grief for bereaved parents, while allowing those outside the community to better understand it and walk in our shoes for a while. Perhaps then, there might be better understanding about this particular kind of grief.
To have seen the incredible response to the book since its release in September – the kind messages, reviews and shared stories – has been overwhelming and humbling in equal measure. But to have it culminate in being invited to speak at Petals, and to once again stand in front of the organisation that helped me survive the trauma of losing Poppy, felt like the closing of one circle and the beginning of another.
After my talk, Karen Burgess, Chief Executive of Petals, sat me down and asked if I would consider becoming an ambassador for the charity. Naturally, I burst into tears before I said yes. It’s truly one of the greatest honours of my life.
Petals has played an extraordinary role in my history, and in the stories of thousands of bereaved parents across the UK. Their specialist counselling supports families through the devastation of baby loss – helping them navigate an experience for which there are no words, and no map.
I know first-hand how life-changing it can be to have someone meet you in the darkness and say: “You’re not alone. Your baby mattered.” That’s why I’m so proud to represent a charity whose mission feels stitched into my heart.
In my new role, I’ll be helping Petals continue breaking the silence around baby loss – writing blogs, newsletters and letters that open up honest conversations about grief, hope and healing. I’ll also support campaigns such as The Missing 20, which highlights the heartbreaking reality that Petals currently has to turn away around twenty families each week due to a lack of funding. Every “no” represents a family in crisis, a couple under strain, or a parent struggling alone. Together, we want to change that.
I’ll also be connecting with parents in Petals’ compassionate induction (TFMR) group counselling programme and contributing to campaigns and events – helping shape ideas, build connections, and use my platform to amplify the voices of a community too often unheard outside of our own echo chamber.
Petals’ mission is simple but vital: to provide free, specialist counselling for parents who have experienced the unimaginable. Despite the scale of baby loss in the UK – an average of 297 losses every day – there is still no dedicated NHS provision for this kind of support. The work Petals does is not just compassionate; it’s essential.
Becoming an ambassador feels like a continuation of the purpose that began with Poppy – to talk and write openly about baby loss, and now, to shine a light on the importance of specialist bereavement support. Petals is more than a charity; it’s a community of understanding, connection and courage.
I’ll always be Poppy’s mum. I’ll always be a baby-loss mother. And I’m profoundly grateful that my experience of having her continues to guide me – through my writing, through conversation, and now, as a proud Petals Ambassador – to walk alongside other parents on their journey towards healing and hope.
