Lucie’s Story

TFMR: “Our counsellors, Kiran and Elaine were both able to talk me through my feelings of guilt and help me realise that we did the right thing for us.”

Our baby boy, Max, was diagnosed with the most severe form of spina bifida in January 2023 at my 20 week scan. We made the heart-breaking decision to TFMR. It was the hardest and most traumatising experience of my life.

After our loss, I felt so isolated. I was offered no support at all and just felt so alone. Our loss was at 22 weeks – so before the cut off for him to have been registered at birth and I felt like I was just expected to get on with it by myself.

I reached out to Petals for help and was matched up with an amazing lady who helped me for 8 weeks following my loss. She really helped me process what happened and why I was feeling how I was. It was invaluable in my journey to recovery after losing Max.

I was very fortunate to fall pregnant again only 8 weeks after having our first baby. I was referred to pregnancy after loss counselling which I had all the way through my following pregnancy and welcomed a healthy baby boy in 2023.

Sadly, we lost his twin along the way but the team at Petals were amazingly supportive of my whole journey. I will never be able to thank them enough for how they helped me, I will be forever grateful.

Before losing Max I probably wouldn’t have felt I needed counselling, however I feel there were some things that it probably would have been beneficial to talk through.

Before my first session I felt so lost, alone and just in a pit of absolute despair. I had a lot of feelings of guilt over our decision to TFMR when I know my son probably would have survived. However, I knew he would not have a good quality of life and I couldn’t let him suffer.

Our counsellors, Kiran and Elaine were both able to talk me through my feelings of guilt and help me realise that we did the right thing for us.

My last session with Petals was a few weeks after I gave birth to my healthy baby boy, Rory. I felt so much lighter and it felt like we had really wrapped things up. I was able to understand my feelings and process them in a much healthier way than before my sessions.

I can’t express how much an impartial shoulder to cry on is sometimes what you need. I felt so validated in my feelings and the support was just what I needed in the darkest time of my life. I don’t think a lot of people really understand what I was going through so it was good to seek advice from expert counsellors.

Thank you so much, from the bottom of my heart. I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. I am so grateful for the support you gave me. I also am so thankful I had you to guide me through my pregnancy with Rory.