Brady received Petals Counselling last summer. After only one session he messaged us on Instagram to tell us we had saved his life. Now his sessions are complete, he’s sent us this letter. We haven’t edited what he told us.
After losing my baby twins in May 2025 following a TFMR, I found myself in a really confusing time, my boy and girl are my first children and after being filled with the excitement of being a father and having all of these first memories to make with them, after they’d passed I had no idea how to react. I was sad but I didn’t know how to really express it at the time. I didn’t really know who I could talk to about any of it. Baby loss isn’t exactly the easiest topic to bring up, especially when all you want to do is protect your children however you can.
Our hospital’s bereavement team mentioned Petals while we were in there but at the time I thought I could manage, and in the following months I fell into a really dark place, I felt alone, misunderstood, and I didn’t believe I’d even see the year out at this point. That’s when I accepted I wasn’t okay and reached out to the Petals team and asked for their help. I was desperate for help.
I got to speak to Bev really quickly, she was the first person to understand what I was feeling, she knew what I wanted to say and how I was feeling without even needing to say it, and for the first time in a long time, I could breathe. She gave me the tools I needed to think about my future, she made me understand that I’m no less of a father because my babies aren’t with us anymore, that all of the paternal feelings I had were completely normal. It made me understand that my feelings run deeper than just the loss of our babies.
Our sessions finished at the beginning of November and I was terrified going into it that I wasn’t going to be able to cope, however, Bev taught me so much during our time that I was sad our sessions were ending but feeling more confident I could use the tools she’d given me to keep going, especially as we were heading into our first Christmas without the babies.
She gave me lots of ideas on how to approach conversations about them, how I can take control of the situation by telling people what support I’d like, as well as different ways that we can remember them over the holidays. I went from being a father who didn’t think I’d see Christmas, to one who was able to honour our babies and give our family a Christmas full of love instead, and I’ll forever be grateful for that.
I think, looking back, I can say with confidence that without Petals being able to support me, my life would be completely different. To start with I don’t know if I’d be here still, but mainly I wouldn’t have the knowledge I do now, the confidence I have in owning my feelings and I definitely wouldn’t have the understanding of why I feel the way I do.
I’d really like to say thank you to everyone who has fundraised for Petals, but thank you doesn’t feel like enough for the difference you’ve made by allowing them to say yes to me.
By doing what you have, you brought a family together again, you enabled me to understand that I’m always going to be a father and to be proud of our babies for being little fighters for as long as they could, but most importantly, you saved me when I needed it most.