Babies: Why we should all be talking about this BBC Drama about baby loss

Since airing on BBC One last night, Babies has been the subject of a long, thoughtful conversation in the Petals office. It is, we believe, a cultural watercooler moment for the community.

The first episode was watched by many of us here, and in our community. Created, written and directed by Stefan Golaszewski (Him & Her, Mum, Marriage), the drama follows Lisa and Stephen as they navigate the complex, but very common, journey of recurrent miscarriage, placing it firmly at the centre of a cultural and social conversation that feels hugely significant for the baby loss community. 

A groundbreaking drama that demands our attention 

This six-part drama (all episodes are now on iPlayer) doesn’t shy away from the difficult moments. Despite the darkness of grief and loneliness, it is also about resilience, connection, communication. It shows the heartbreak and the hope in equal measure and beautifully portrays the deeply personal experiences that this community will know so well. The silences. The dark humour. The medicalisation of trauma. The return to work after being told devastating news. The cups of tea. The insensitive comments. The cocooning of a couple trying to recover from a great loss. The ordinary, everyday and extraordinarily difficult parts of baby loss that people are simply not party to, unless they have lived through it themselves. 

Unflinching, unfiltered, frank

Stefan Golaszewski is an expert at placing a magnifying glass over the mundane and then dropping something life-altering into the centre of it, watching closely at the impact. He allows the camera to linger in the most difficult moments, giving space to what is so often left unsaid. Actors Siobhan Cullen and Paapa Essiedu, who play Lisa and Stephen, depict those ‘there are no words’ moments in pregnancy with assured understanding, that take you somewhere you never want to go – moving rapidly from happiness and hope, to fear, dark humour, deep anxiety, shock, disbelief, realisation, devastation. 

The series itself feels as raw and unfiltered as the experience is. There is no drama for drama’s sake, but nor is it sanitised for public consumption. What the makers have done is respect the reality of baby loss, because reality is more than enough. Conversations are allowed to unfold as they would in life – awkward, tender, clumsy, incomplete. Small details land with surprising weight. Big moments hit hard, but with a tender touch. 

Karen Burgess, Founder and CEO of Petals says: “Whilst we understand this may be a difficult watch for many who are struggling, or who have direct experience of baby loss, it should only be watched when you feel strong enough, supported enough, and in the right place emotionally to do so. It is also entirely valid to choose not to watch it at all.” 

Karen believes there is something important here for us to think about. Perhaps, this series is not for those who have lived this experience. After all there is no need to relive your own trauma unless it feels helpful for your healing, or to feel less alone, and unless it offers you something in the way of being seen. Which this series will, if you are in the right place for it. But we suggest you only watch when you truly feel ready. 

However, we should consider it essential viewing for the friends, family, colleagues, partners, grandparents of couples walking these paths through miscarriage, recurrent miscarriage, TFMR, stillbirth or neonatal loss who need to understand what these journeys are like. Those who have never had the language, or the understanding, or the proximity to these experiences to know how to respond. 

Breaking the culture of silence

This series has opened a door onto something that is so often closed because we do not know how to share, or because people don’t want to enter, even when invited. Because the culture that surrounds baby loss still leans towards silence. We are not asked, and when we are, we do not always know how to answer because we are not given the tools or the language to do so. 

For the baby loss community, and for the wider cultural conversation, Babies offers an opportunity – not for those in the community to watch, necessarily but to encourage others to watch. To ask them to talk about it. To begin to dismantle that culture of silence through something that sits firmly in the mainstream of British television. 

From awareness to understanding

We believe everyone who has not been touched by baby loss should be watching and talking about this programme and learning from it. And if they are not, why not? And how do we change that? How do we keep this conversation going once the publicity has died down? 

Does grief excuse – and infuse – societal silence? At what point does positivity become something that suppresses truth rather than supports it? And beyond that, how do we talk about loss in our everyday lives? At work, at home, within relationships? How do we begin those conversations before loss happens, rather than in its aftermath? How do we reconcile a culture that tells us to celebrate pregnancy without question, when the statistics tell a more complex story? How do we learn to support those who have experienced loss? How do we guide them towards help? What can we say, and what can we do, that genuinely makes a difference? 

Not just TV, but timely truth-telling

How do we make sure that a series like this doesn’t go unnoticed? 

At Petals, we see every day the realities that sit beneath these questions and the experiences depicted in this drama. The series reflects the real impact on relationships, friendships, families and working lives. These are the conversations we hold with bereaved parents every day. Watching the episode, there are moments where it is impossible not to see where support could step in, where something could be held more gently, where someone could be better supported through what they are experiencing. 

Pause to protect

There’s also something important to say about protecting yourself in the experience of watching. This is not passive viewing for many. It may bring things to the surface unexpectedly. It may stay with you. Watching alongside someone you trust, allowing yourself to pause, to step away, to notice what is happening in your body as well as your mind, and to reach out for support if needed – these are necessary considerations. And choosing not to watch is, in itself, a valid and important choice. 

Turning a cultural moment into meaningful change

What feels clear is that this may be part of something larger. Not just a moment, but a movement. 

Across culture, we are beginning to see more space being made for these stories. Recently, at the Royal Court Theatre, Luke Norris’s play Guess How Much I Love You has explored the complexity of pregnancy and loss with an honesty that feels aligned with what we are seeing here. On a personal level, my novel This Wasn’t Meant to Happen, which came out last year, shone a light on the experience of stillbirth. It seems that across the arts, there is a growing willingness to articulate experiences that have long been left unspoken, and to reflect a more honest picture of the reproductive path. 

This is how cultural change happens, isn’t it? not in a single moment, but in a gathering of voices that become harder to ignore. 

Here at Petals, we are hopeful that this series is a meaningful step within that shift. The question is how we harness this moment and turn it into something lasting – so that sharing these stories continues to feel possible, and listening to them becomes expected. 

It is a step forward for the baby loss community. But more than that, it has the potential to be a step forward for society itself. 

If you’re planning on watching Babies – or encouraging others to – here are some thoughts of how to hold yourself through the experience:  

• Watch with someone you trust, so you’re not holding the experience alone 

• Pause or step away if it feels overwhelming 

• Notice what’s coming up in your body, not just your thoughts 

• Talk about it afterwards – even if you don’t have the right words 

• Remember: choosing not to watch if you’re not in the right place is also completely valid