Oliver’s Story:

Last December, my wife Rebecca and I experienced a missed miscarriage at 12 weeks. We were in the unfortunate situation of attending what we thought would be a routine 12-week scan, only to be told that we had lost our baby. It’s a surreal and deeply painful experience – one that I think is felt differently by both parents, though equally devastating.

It was a sudden and unwanted step into a world of physical and emotional pain that we hadn’t expected, and couldn’t fully understand.

We navigated it together as best we could, but there’s only so much you can do when grieving something so profound and struggling to articulate your own feelings at the same time.

As a man, there was a huge sense of helplessness. There’s nothing you can say or do that changes what’s happened, or the way your partner feels in that moment. In the weeks and months that followed, I struggled to process it myself. It’s really only with time (almost a year later) that I’ve been able to begin coming to terms with it.

Because it was Christmas, we didn’t receive support through the NHS. Due to the timing and circumstances, the miscarriage wasn’t even registered. So we sought private medical help, which meant we weren’t eligible for NHS counselling. We didn’t know who we could turn to.

That’s when we found Petals.

Petals offered incredible support to my wife and me, through the physical process of miscarriage and the many months of emotional recovery that followed. They provided a safe, compassionate space when we needed it most.

This is a heartbreak more common than most people realise and support like that offered by Petals is absolutely vital.

For Rebecca, speaking with Petals was a lifeline. It gave her a safe space to talk openly about her feelings and to begin to heal in a way that I simply couldn’t facilitate, and as difficult as that was for me to accept, it was also a huge relief to know she was being supported by people who truly understood.

For me, Petals’ support also provided comfort indirectly. It gave me a way to support Rebecca while recognising and beginning to process my own emotions. Their work truly is invaluable.

When the opportunity arose to run the Royal Parks Half Marathon in support of Petals, I didn’t hesitate.

It felt like a small way to give back to an organisation that had done so much for us.

The event itself was incredible; well organised, full of energy, and a genuine celebration of the positive impact that Petals has on so many lives. There’s something very special about running for a cause that means so much to you and knowing that you’re helping others access the same support that made such a difference to your own family.

One year on, we found ourselves expecting once again. We have been cautiously hopeful, and incredibly grateful to Petals for helping us navigate such a dark time, and for giving us the strength to look forward again.

Whilst we will never forget the baby we did not meet, running the Royal Parks Half Marathon in October felt like a meaningful way to close one chapter and prepare to begin a new one, as Petals continued to support Rebecca until after the birth of our son, Oscar, in November this year.

If anyone is considering counselling or unsure where to turn after loss, please do reach out to Petals. Even just an initial conversation can help you understand if it’s right for you, but I truly believe everyone can benefit from their support.