This book WAS meant to happen.
Petals’ response to Ali Harris’ new book, This Wasn’t Meant To Happen.
We would like to congratulate Ali Harris on the release of her ground-breaking book, This Wasn’t Meant To Happen. The book tells the story of Sofie and Rory, whose son, Leo, is stillborn at 39 weeks.
Ali, who had counselling with Petals following the loss of her daughter, Poppy, is a long-time supporter of the charity. We are thrilled that Ali has been working with us in the lead up to the launch, including writing a beautiful blog about how Petals gave her the space and support to lead her from heartbreak to hope. We were also fortunate enough to read some early copies of her book.
On the launch, we want to reflect on the significance of this story.
From Karen Burgess, Petals’ chief executive:
I have now worked within the field of baby loss for 16 years. One of the greatest challenges I see for improving psychological support in this area is the enormous stigma that seems to persist and blocks progress.
I believe this book has the potential to change this.
Thank goodness Harper Collins One More Chapter has the vision and confidence to publish this beautifully crafted story that needs to be told. As I turn the pages, I can sense the personal investment from Ali, who has so carefully crafted every aspect of this story to provide the reader a true, honest account of this untold journey that pulls no punches.
We get to know Sofie and Rory as they come together in their relationship and contemplate starting a family. Their story is told in the same way as so many love stories and unfolds into parenthood in a different way. It is raw but real and the reader is eased through the full experience and aftermath of stillbirth.
Ali has cleverly woven the devastation of baby loss into a love story which normalises the taboo of stillbirth and helps us realise it happens every day and that we can turn and face this experience rather than shy away in fear or horror.
It is grounded in reality, based on personal experience, and it shows us the new opportunities for personal development and growth that come when we live through and face the toughest experiences that life throws at us.
It is a triumph.
Ali was a client of Petals following her own baby loss and her Petals Counsellor, Sue remembers her well.
Sue has this to say about the book:
“Wow, what a writer, what a book- all barriers broken and so beautifully and honestly written, it literally takes my breath away!
“This book, unlike any other I have read, totally breaks through every single angle and depths of rawness and desperateness of a mother’s /couple’s experience of love and loss and the devastation of trying to learn to live without their baby….to gradual awareness of life again, hope, purpose, growth!”
All of us a Petals are proud to share with you our thoughts about this book. We urge you to read it and soak up the love and richness it has to offer.
Guidance ahead of reading
Ali has written this book following her own personal experience. You are delving into this subject in safe hands. It is raw, it is honest, and some elements may trigger memories or shock you. Please see our tips below to consider when reading this book:
- Try to keep perspective and be reassured – remember most pregnancies result in live births and healthy babies
- You may find the book hard to put down and become consumed in the story. We suggest you take breaks as you read it, one chapter at a time – Ali has sensitively written in short chapters to support this.
- Talk to friends, family or colleagues about the book – explaining the story and your response to it – this will help you to settle and prevent your thoughts from ruminating.
- Really try to read the whole story – it describes a process that is real and wholesome for parents who experience pregnancy or baby loss. Ultimately, it is uplifting and illustrates that there is a pathway to recovering who you are as parents.
If you do not feel ready to read it – or when you finish it – why not pass a copy onto a friend, colleague or family member? It is a wonderful way to raise awareness and reduce stigma around baby loss.
Congratulations again, Ali.